un secreto

yo tengo uno. ven aqui....ven mas cerca...sshhh...estoy perdido.

seriously. i am. i had a great day today but, while i was out there, i thought, i haven't a fuckin' clue. i know a few words, a couple phrases, i can get the basics - barely - but holy shit. (and before i go on i know it's just the first week and i'm here for three more but....jesus...my brain doesn't seem to be holding it in. no comprendo.)
i go into stores and ask for things, and i get a lot of blank stares.
yesterday i managed to muddle together a few sentences while at the lavanderia getting my clothes done, and it felt pretty good but those moments of greatness and elation are few and far between. (please bear with me i'm just needing to ramble and vent a little...deep breaths..)
i go for dinner with fellow students and they're ordering and making small talk and i'm like the kid in the high school homeroom who gets told to go help the janitor instead of taking chem. class because, well, i'm just not getting it and simple may be an easier route...oh god.
todas formas.
i'm still gonna giv'er but after my flash card session tonight and the missed pile being mucho bigger than the 'got' pile, things look bad...lol. it's the fuckin' verbs. i am, you are, we are, they are and all the variations of that. i go, you go, they go, go where? i feel like i should be doing this seven days a week and not take the weekends off from school - i've gotta figure out a way to do that. shit, lord knows i've been going like a house on fire and seeing everything that can be seen. i've walked this town - and i'm telling now - save your money and come here. you'll love it. a true jewel in the crown of mexico. but after this weekend, since i'm not going to go anywhere but here - no weekend trips - maybe i'll buckle down more and study harder, not that i haven't been...
i know alex has said to just go out and use the words and phrases i know, but i am so limited - at this point - that i can get a little food and drink and get my clothes washed without having them dried. the numbers, i kind of have those. mi amo garnet. yo soy cuarenta seis. is that right? i dunno. i'm impressed by alex, he just goes out there and gets it done.
ok.
back at it, i just needed to get that out. hablo espanol muy mal. yo soy malo.
esconce.
como se dice 'i love you' en espanol?
te amo.

hasta manana

garncarlos
xo.