Monday, May 21, 2012

older. wiser? maybe not.

the last two days have reminded many of us that summer is not yet here - one month away..start counting. the may long weekend toys with us every year. and every year, more often than not, it rains at some point and ruins the whole thing. now, i should point out that i actually have no expectations around this long weekend as i'm not, currently, working on a show and don't have a real job so, every weekend is a long weekend. in fact, every week is a long week - some longer than others. sadly.
and it is now and at times like this that i reconsider my life in film. for those who don't know, i worked on set in film for a long time but then moved into a more managerial role and have been landlocked there for a long time. it's fine, and good but the problem with getting pigeonholed is just that, people don't offer you work that you once did because many of them have no idea you ever did it. so, while others are off working on other projects, i am not. and truthfully, i have been working when lots of them have not been so the pendulum is just swinging the other way at present. but it doesn't stop me from being alone in my days and wondering if it is time to move on. i love cutting grass and it brings me solice of sorts but i like working. it gives me purpose. i am not happy with extended time off, especially when there are no lawns to cut.
i have been known to cruise the city of vancouver web site looking at positions that are up my alley and available. lately the coast mountain bus lines site has as well. driving a bus, what's wrong with that? not much that i can see...oh sure, i could get beat up but...somehow that doesn't deter my interest. i have also looked into a few courses at vcc and elsewhere that could take me into my retirement years. the one thing i have looked into as well is another position in film, one that i'm not ready to discuss as of yet but have been meeting with a person who could, maybe, help me in that. think shadowing if you will. i have told a couple friends about it but no more than that, it's too early. it may never happen.
but suffice to say i am hating the rain and as someone who suffers, off and on, with SAD. so be it. the rain will clear and there will be lawns to cut and courses to take - i have to get on that, i have to admit i have been hesitant to go and talk to counsellors about it. garvie is right though, i need to get on that now that i have time.
i've been reading a great book on the origins of texas bbq that ailsa bought me...makes you wanna buy a smoker and set up shop...unlikely but it does make ones mind wander and mouth water.

g. xo

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