i should be excited...

...so why am i not? about going to mexico? to go to school to learn a little spanish. eat some great food and just hang out...
i dunno but the last few weeks have made me super uneasy about going at all. just sayin'. i have a healthy fear of failing - and know this, if i go (and i will...) that i will work hard and try and do the best i can...but i'm scared i'm not equipped for it. we'll see. maybe in the end i'll just be able to order tacos more better....(that's a joke..the bad grammar...) i think some people are built and wired to learn languages other than their own. my dad is. the acorn may have fallen too far from that tree.
i'm also bummed that i can't drive there. super bummed. and now have to fly. and that's a deal i hate as well. buying tickets. arriving three hours early. the search. the questions. the cramped seats. all bullshit. connecting flights. fuck you.
and the cost. more bullshit. especially from vancouver - taxes and other bullshit costs attached. fuck you gregor. (i know it's not his fault but i hate him and he's the mayor and...in think he's a fuckwad. period.)
(and know this, that i would love one day to tell him in person that i voted for him and now i just want him to burn on the east van sign at great northen way and clarke drive.)
ok. back to this mexico thing.
i just wish i was stoked to go. i was all gung-ho months ago, full of excitement for it and now...not so much. i'm gonna miss some work, i'll miss garvie as well. but it'll fly by and i'll be back so that's not a big deal, but i will miss her. ok.
some last cuts today. some letters put in mailboxes saying 'see you next year'. i'm ready for it to be over too. it was a weird lawn order year but i loved it. even the bad days out there. like a bad hockey game, always better than working.
speaking of hockey i should hit the road, i'm playing for the cowboys this afternoon.

have a wicked saturday.

g. xo