answer is: fuckall.
(caution short rant coming....)
it is this time every year, duh tax time, that i wonder what it's really all about. and i know i am not the only one. next to having to work for and with people you don't like, even hate, taxes are the next sure thing on the list. and really, it's not the taxes exactly, but the manner in which it all happens and the shitty explanations as to why this and why that and...it just fucking sucks. i sometimes think i was happier and without care when i made much less. life was simpler. not working as a corporation in the film biz, working twelve hours a day, etc...i often think of moving to a small town and working in a home hardware store and just being. seriously. i never will but i do think of it. often. and it also this time of year, that my thoughts drift to how much i hate vancouver and what it has become - and i'm allowed, i was born here, i've seen it change. it's not friendly, it's not nice, it's not sunny but for a couple months of the year, it's congested, it cares not about preserving it's past but would rather tear it all down and build something that looks exactly like the build right next to it.
and heaven to betsy if you want to try and get ahead and perhaps own a home, i was lucky and was able to get in early in my life but if i had to start now it would be impossible. i will have a mortgage for ever. i will have to work until i drop.
i was thinking when i was in new york that people come from all over the united states to live in new york. they dream of it. they pay thousands of dollars a month to live there, often with room mates, just to be in the city. to be a part of it. but when does the bloom come off the rose? a cheap place in new york now is 3000 a month. so 36k a year just for rent. nice. when does the light go off that this is ridiculous? that kansas may be ok. that living on the sunshine coast my be a-ok. working for the city there. i'm no hippie but this treadmill is bullshit.
and i'm not alone in thinking this way. it just hits me more this time of year and the weather doesn't help. and i have thought of selling and moving to another place because of the noise downstairs but would lose in the neighbourhood of 45k doing so, so that won't be happening.
i guess it just is. there are always options i suppose but sadly my work network is here, and not sadly, my love is here and all my amazing friends and of course, without saying, issy is here and floyd is an hour away. i need to figure something out. i have entertained the idea of becoming a bus driver. seriously. pension, decent salary, six weeks vacation, etc...noble occupation. i was also speaking with someone who knows what's what about other jobs within the film biz and will look at them seriously as well.
my needs are not huge. the day to day. if i was to move to a small town. a couple decent places to eat, a hockey team to play on, a job and high speed internet.
it just seems that we all have to work so hard just to stay in the city so we can what? be close to canucks games? eat at the same restaurants over and over even though there are a thousand? drive too far to go to work? live in one of the worst drug infested cites in north america? i guess so.
have a great wed. night.