do you speak russian? no?..ok, let me tell you...

let me tell you...
so i got an e.mail to the new lawn order mailbox on the interweb - lawnorderguy@gmail.com (yes another way to get ahold of me..) and it was from a woman i could only assume, by her name, was russian. and she told me...

Hi! I would like to have my lawn cut...How much do you charge?
The size is approx. 1000 sq feet maybe a bit more.It takes my husband 20 minutes to do it. I am sure it will take you 10 min. or so....
Could you please give me approximate price?
I am located in Burnaby...

Thank you Oliya.

ok...so i think, if her husband can do it in 20 minutes, maybe she actually means 100 sq. feet, not 1000. because a thousand sq. ft. in 20 minutes is pretty fuckin' good...this guy is goin' for olympic gold with that. so i tell her a price thinking it's a don bull sized lawn...
nope.
i get there and it is indeed about 1000 sq. feet, but i don't know how you measure a lawn that way with all the dips and doodles and jingus, so...i phone her and give her the bad news..this baby is gonna cost more than originally thought...ok, how much?..well, more like 75 bux...ok, you go ahead...she's in...
ok...
to boot it looked about a foot long in places but i went at it and it looked pretty good - given that it was a crappy mossy lawn - not like the bull/toppings lawn which is new and lush and full of life, but it'll get there in time...
and then as i made my second swipe on the lawn there was oliya in her coco channel glasses and big smile...and as she was telling me about her lawn and her son cutting it before he left one month and two weeks ago...for the war or to school i dunno, she stopped and said..."you speak russian?..." um, no..."ok, well, let me tell you in english and you will understand i think..." , ok...i'll try...
anyhow...it was a fun exchange and worth the price of admission, almost.
and when i was done she paid me in paper and then a whole load of twoonies. awesome...now i can go to the arcade..
it was a good cut. i enjoyed it.
then it was off to jessica's and then to keith's to make that rock and roll lawn look like someone cares...because i do. all in all a good day cutting....
i saw al at the shop which is always good for my head...he's a good man that al...he was making stairs for his trampoline at home so the kids could get up there easier...good man al.
last night i had dinner with dr. rob and the garbs and we discussed our - mine and rob's- new project, the lawn cutting/self-help book, "the longest cut" (working title...) it was good to have the garbs there to lend ideas to what will be a collaboration of sorts anyways...good to see rob, great to have the garbs chow down after cutting a couple lawns and working all day moving furniture - i will not go into this as it was stupid and fucked and it's enough to say that we (me, garbs and bobbie) got paid to move a bunch of shitty office furniture down some stairs and then into a couple of moving trucks. stupid. and with stupid people. 'nuff said.
anyhow...the book is coming along, at least in the brain stage. ideas have been and are being hammered out. you never know, you may be asked to participate.

i need a drink...and a rest.

have fun.

g. xo

the russian mob lawn before...


the russian mob lawn after.