in my heart

okay.
so i guess by now some of you have figured out, those of you who still check this blog to see if anything's happening, that i am posting a few things here and there. it will continue like that for the next while anyways. i think the blog is good for me in some ways and bad in others but that's that. i guess.
i think this thing is going to take a slightly different spin. i am going to be more forthright, forward, direct, whatever it takes or you want to call it about myself and my life and emotions.
i find life a little bit of a challange from time to time and fight hard to make it right somehow. sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. i find the shitty times to be the hardest to get by. and take them the hardest. i am working towards being less hard on myself-maybe one day i will be, and also to get on with my life in certain regards.
i have had a few emotion setbacks as of late and am coping with them as best i can. i am not going to name names in the 'new' blog, but i think most people know all the players and have seen the scoresheet from time to time and know the score.
i wear my heart on my sleeve and most people, for better or for worse, know where my heart is at at any given moment. i am prone to high highs and fairly low lows, i'm not bi-polar i am just that way. i am an emotional guy. a big softie. i would give you the shirt off my back and most of you know that. i may even be too generous but i can't help it so don't ask me too.
right now i am sad but working on changing that. there are changes happening in my life that i knew were coming but now that they're here they are harder to deal with than i originally thought they would be. time is the great healer and maybe things i've been putting off for a while should now take a front seat and be addressed more seriously. things that will, ultimately, make me happier than i am right now.
you never know what's in store for you around the next corner and that really is the truth. i was avoiding looking around the corner for a while now but feel i may be ready to look around it now and see what's there.
don't worry, the new blog will be exactly like the old blog just with a little more heart and soul and real emotion from time to time. a little more like me.

i love all of you and thank god you're around and part of my life.

garn xo