letting it all hang out...

i may have set in motion a string of events that i can not, now, stop. those of you who know the comet story will knw that the idiot who painted my car the first time has moved to nevada. he also owns a very nice car himself. i thought he had taken the car to nevada with him. he has not. i found his car today and left a note on it. i asked for some of my money back. i told him i found his car once and that i could find it again. i then gave a copy of the letter to the shop where he painted the car. anyhow..it's a long story..now the owner of the shop is pissed at me, was talking about getting his lawyer involved..etc..nice. i don;t have any idea who's on my team and who's not anymore. more and more bad desicions made by me, over and over....i need a fuckin' time machine. i was smart enough to include some legal words on the document that make it impossible to use in court so...whatever. fuckin' sue me prick!
on the subject of regret. i have so many. i really do. i feel wierd about this and this blog in general. i want so many times to say and tell you all things but can't based on how it'll make some of you feel. i've made so many mistakes, made bad turns, not treated you all as well as i should have, been less tolerant than i should have been, missed the boat more than a few times. i have been short with some of you, made my ideas more important than yours when they are not, gotten frustrated when i should have been more calm. i have been hard on myself in front of many of you and said things about myself in front of many of you which i know makes you feel uncomfortable and badly. i'm sorry about that.
so what's all this have to do with anything? i'm not sure but i should leave well enough alone sometimes. keep my mouth shut. don't say shit even if my mouth's full of it. it'll be hard but i'm gonna give it my best effort.
just know this.
when i'm down, pissed off at the world, mad at the prick in the car in fron of me, saying i'm gonna off myself, remember this...i love each and every one of you. and without all of you, i'd be lost.

ok..there ya go.

i'm gonna make some shitty noodles and sauce now.

garn xo