somewhere along the way there was a wrong turn taken...

it's the truth. i think it's true. somewhere along the way i go derailed, not that i was really on track completely but...i took a wrong turn. i was a smart guy, i think, so how did i end up here? i said to a couple of young guys on set yesterday that everything they had done to that point in thier lives and brought them to where they were right then...they thought that was funny...and the more i thought about what i had said i thought, "holy fuck...!! i'm right..."

that's a bummer...

oh well...


g. xo

when in doubt...make a stupid face.

it's the truth. people ask me sometimes why all the photos they see of me, are of me making a face or something along those lines..well, i hate having my picture taken because, for better or for worse, i am not photogenic and look like shit in pictures..plus, i have become so fuckin' fat that it's nearly impossible to actually get a good shot of me...no matter what i do...so...make a face i do..it's better that way. i can handle it then..sort of. today joel and dan took the torch and made a couple of good ones..although i know dan was meaning too make the face behind joel, joel was actually just trying to get shit out from between his teeth...good shot though.
so there we were today...digging out snow because this film is suppose to be set in the summer...kids driving around in convertables that have now become jeep cherokees...and i have to say..because so many directors are assholes..this guy is awesome. great guy...makes it all ok. well, it's still working in film but..it's better with him around...the main actor is still an idiot but the director is great. yup, shovels and tiger torches all day...and more bacon and sausages...and wierd shrimp wrapped in something...i've got to get back on the wagon tomorrow..i can't eat this shit anymore...but it sure is tasty..

have fun.

g. xo

i just do what i can...

just so you know i do what i can here but the text does what it, seemingly, wants to do...and the pics, due to their sizes, etc. do whatever they want as well...so...the post below looks how it looks for this reason...like ya care...i'm just explainin'...

fuck it.

garn xo

this ain't squamish buddy...

lots of pics today...i was a little trigger happy and it was al's big day...click on 'em if ya want a closer look...

so me and the boys had to drive up to squamish this morning...corie and i carpooled and met the rest of them up there...good times. we had to leave at 6 am to be up there for 7:30..but it wasn't really squamish...
it was and is 20 kms or so past squamish...even better. and this movie is suppose to be a summer thing and there's snow on the ground and raining off and on...and it gets dark early so we're in early and out early..that's ok too...except for the drive home which sucks hard, especially when the heat kicks in and i feel like passing out......
oh well...at it again tomorrow...i can hardly wait...

it was al's birthday today so we all sang to him, bothered him more than usual, and gave him hugs and then bothered him some more. i like al. he's a great guy. good heart. so today was kind of like al's big day out..in pictures...
it was a good day with the boys...joel, dan, corie, dar and al...i ate some meat at breakfast, sometimes i can't resist bacon and sausages...i'll probably eat more tomorrow...no wonder i'm big as a fucking house...! actually i've been pretty good this year thus far...but i'm still a fat fuck..and if i calf would heal a little i could get back to the gym..hell, i may go anyways...fuck my sore torn up muscles...they'll heal eventually..

ok..i have to go to bed soon...gotta be on the road at 6 am...good times...bring on the bacon!

g. xo

say half gay and an eye check up...

typical saturday really...

got up later than usual...8:15 am...called half gay lemay and asked him when i should get over there to help him move...9:30ish..ok...cool...i trucked on over ti the pharmasave drug outlet to get a package that was waiting there for me...a new toy thing..a skuttle by touma. it's like one i have but a different color and edition. i got two at the touma show in LA and traded one of the clear blue colorways i had for the orange one...like ya care...nevermind...i have a new toy...surprise!!
had to go to ukranian tire as well...what a bunch of 'tards... anyhow...more can tire money for moto...
helped half gay move...when i got there the first thing i saw was this complete idiot who i hate...well, hate's a strong word but he's an idiot and has suspect dating practices that he employs in different lands...he's creepy and kinda disgusting..ok. 'nuff said...i tried not to talk to him...stevie janz was there as well...a guy with a huge heart...love that guy. his luck has been kinda shitty lately. getting a divorce, fell off his wagon a few times..he's actually got a few wagons of which to fall off... i could tell a few stories that may seem kinda funny now but are kinda tragic and i just hope it all works out for him...i'm willing to help him anytime...the good stories include welding clamps, counterfeit money and the lion's gate bridge...ask me and i'll tell ya...



the garbertaor was in full effect today... wearing the new shopcoat i bought him and somehow convincing a woman who had wandered into the pickle that she should be on my blog...i have no idea who she is or what her name is or why she'd want to be on my blog...she was a bit to happy to be on it... jenn and muc showed up at the pickle as well..they had been at the gym pumping iron. they were going to get some soup so i went with them..the fuckin' soup at that place on the island is too freakin' hot!!! and it's always the same few soups that always taste the same...oh well...it's good for ya.






then i had to go get my eyes checked...i convinced my doctor to take my picture in the chair...and damn..i look fat with crap in front of my face and without shit in front of my face...i'm gonna start fasting soon....i am one fat ugly guy...oh well...inside voice, inside voice...when i left there i could barely see and was having a really tough time driving with the sun shining in my wide open pupil eyes..i was a hazard...i went to voltage to get a gift for the garberator for fixing my shoes but couldn't really see anything..when i left christina gave me, forced on me, some sunglasses so i wasn't such a hazard...then i went to tony's shop and cut a bunch of plexiglass on the tablesaw...good times...i now have even more shelves in my place...
ok..well, that was my day...hockey's on..i have to go to bed because i have to be in squamish, actually 20 kms past squamish, by 7:30 am tomorrow...me and skippy tornack are carpooling...we have to figure out where to get coffee at 6 am on a sunday...slackers at jj bean don't get it going until 8 am on sunday...lazy hippie indie shits.ok..that's it....i've got to try and will colorado to score now...fuckin' canucks..i hate those guys.

g. xo

oh...saw the new pirece brosnin movie matador last night....um....wait for the dvd...funny, but not that funny.

tan tan noodles at don king

every once in a while you need to have tan tan noodles at don king...so mishi and i went there last night ...the garberator declined. he be the loser. marcy had already eaten so she lost out on the bean curd as well.. the waiter who we always get saw me and actually grabbed me when he saw me and told me he loved me...nice. that''s my report for now...it's still early...and i have to drive to squamish...good times..

g. xo

long hair and thank god for 'medium' indian food....

not much really to report on except that tornack has come on to work with us this week and, i guess, he was actually here last week as well but ...well, the long hair has come back to the BOC home...good times. great hair. we all went for indian food this afternoon and the boys all ordered theirs 'hot' but corie and i, knowing better from a previous visit to this very place, ordered ours 'medium'... good thing. dan's head was turning different colors as he ate his hot lunch...joel eats so fuckin' fast that i don't think anything actually hits his tongue long enough to actually know if it's hot or not...i think, even though i like to think it helps the old system, that yogurt is off the menu now as well...not something you need to know but now ya do...
we also found out that we have to work sunday..which normally wouldn't be a problem but corie and i want to go out and see married to music at their cd release party...could be a late one...fuck it..it's only the butterfly effect 2...how awake do we really have to be?
fuck it.

i'm off to get dinner...

g. xo

ultrasound and the rock it rolls...

today i went up to UBC hospital for a little ultrasound action. it was painful. not the actual ultrasound but the fuckin' waiting. there was a woman ahead of me who was there with her husband and ahe didn't look so good. i think she may have been preggers but i couldn't really tell...the husband looked all concerned and was like a little kid while she was in there getting all gelled up and ultrasounded...he paced outside the door...he made me nervous..and when i wasn't nervous about him i was passing out from the boredom and the air in that place..issy used to work there years ago...she ran the joint. anyhow...i finally got in after the woman ahead of me decided she was done..and she looked done...i thought she was gonna hurl right there..which i kinda would have enjoyed right about then.
anyhow..after looking around for a while and telling me i had a bunch of bone spurs on my heel, big deal, i was outta there...no rips or tears found...nice..all that shit for nothing and i still have a sore calf muscle. good times. i may have to go for an MRI now...escellent. or i could do what i always do and just say fuck it and let it do whatever it's gonna do...that may be a better plan overall...
i'm gonna go home tonight and take a bunch of pills i think..i feel like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag...need some juice and soup..kinda the same thing except one's hot and one's not. i need to make friends with my couch the next couple of nights i think..i need sleep...and drugs. and soup.

g. xo

she said...

she said
I want the things on tv
I want the things that set
hearts on fire
The things so far from me
Days driving in cars with boys
Holding on
Scared to let go
I want the boy in the blue shirt
With the lazy smile

She says
I want the dreams
That make me wake
Late in the night
The scenes that go away
To stay
Things that seem to be wrong
To become right
I want the boy in the middle
With the thoughtful mind


songs for francis white

feels like falling down...

i was thinking today, and i know it's a long way off yet but, i can't wait until lawncutting season rolls up again. i think a lot of people think i just do it for the extra cash-but there really isn't any..well, some, but so much of it is for barter..i do it for my head mainly. it's good. more on that some other time but i can't wait for the grass to get growing again...speaking of my head, and maybe why i was thinking about the green, green grass of home today...i decided to take a break for the therapy for a while..mainly because of money but it's good to take a breather every once in a while. my shrink, barb, is great. god bless her...she sits and listens to me ramble on and on about shitola...week after week...she really should get a prize...anyhow, i guess i was telling her about what makes me happy and the one thing i could think of was cutting grass. there are other things that give me pleasure to be sure, but i think of pleasure and happy as being in two different camps. not always. but in this case.
i hung out at home almost all weekend. watched tv, watched a couple of movies-lord of war and the grissly man. lord of war was like some sort of morality tale and finger pointing at the current US government...kinda bored me...the other, a doc., was good...if not a little overstated...but good. some people is just nuts...i know a few.
daisley came over and watched some football on the old tv....i should have made the bets i wanted to make...both teams i called ended up winning... i could have won at least ten bucks...speaking of money...i was wondering if all the money i lent to don bull in the 80's was gonna come back to me... i only think of this sort of thing when i'm broke.. or pissed at bullski...i'm just broke... i'm too tired to be mad at don bull...

don't forget to call your mom. or if ya want you can call my mom....she likes hearing from ya.

g. xo

i think i'm giving in...

after forgetting, or so joel says, to put some stuff on the spfx trailer that i was suppose to put on the trailer, i went there today and did just that. i had to go to the shop first and get the shit and then head up to horseshoe bay where the trailer was/is right now. while i was there i fixed my headlight in the coolerator...i love the coolerator but i wish i could get something better one day..the driver's side window handle broke today, the driver's side lock is fucked because of the junkie's trying to get in, it leaks both around the doors and through the windshield...anyhow...whatever...i'm too busy trying to pay off the old visa and line of credit to worry about the van. so i went up to set and saw dar and dropped of the crapola...it's suppose to be a beach scene etc and allm it's doing is raining...i love it. i was suppose to work there tomorrow but don't know now what's going on..
val fraser and kathryn fraser, no realtion came out to help dar. they're climber/safety rigger chicks. women. dope smokin' rope heads. val lives in squamish so that goes without saying...both very nice.
i then came home and haven't left the couch. fuck it. why go out if it's gonna be like this?
dinner at topanga later with marcy and megan...for megan's birthday...which was a week or so ago...then it'll be back home and back to the couch...i hope.

good times.

g.

kramer, hot dogs and crap on the bottom of shoes...

my dryer has been making some nasty sounds for a while now and i've been both lazy and too busy to get it fixed...more money to fix crap...so i called kramer, who used to work for Coin-O-Matic years ago, and he said he could probably fix it, that it was probably just a roller...so today there he was at 11:30 am, on his way to the golf course, coming through my door tools in hand and a smile on his face.. he's the only guy, i think, that i have any real contact with of all the guys i went to high school with. he's a good one. and now after some roller changing, my dryer is very quiet once again. thanks kramer!
i had a little ukranian tire money-which i give to moto, and i also needed the garbs to fix some shoes of mine so i headed down to the island...he wasn't there because he was taking a day off, slacker, but mishi was there so we went to the market and got a hot dog and a coffee...i left the shoes there, which had somehow become caked with dog crap...so there i was out side the pickle scraping off shit in front of all the touristos... then i went inside and went into the sink area in the back and used larry's sink and his dish scrubber to clean my shoes off...happy dish washing larry!
then it was off to the bank to put a little cashola in and put a grand on the old visa card...good times... i love doing that. then i ran into chloe, who has graced this blog before and gave her a ride down the hill...i think she's a bit of a smartie pants... in a good way...i liked her boyfriend when i met him at marc and jenn's at xmas...
okay...now i've got to load a bunch of crap on ebay...

have fun...

g. xo

rotting teeth and gold in the head...

get the mail yesterday..the mail from my dentist letting me know how much the gold crowns are gonna cost me...cost me after all my coverage...$400.00..good times...love it. maybe if i ask nicely i can get two or three sets of them. that would be great!

g.

damn that hurt!!!

ok so yesterday i told you all about 'garn's big medical day out'... bad calf muscle, etc..well, i made an appontment today to go to UBC hospital, where issy used to run the show, and get an ultrasound done...but they may want to xray or ultrasound my right ankle as well now... an ankle i broke when i was inj grade six, actually shattered is a better word for that one..plus a big crack along the femur as well..excellent. anyhow, after hearing from my doctor that i may have a tear in my calf muscle and the fact that i 'retired' from hockey a couple of months ago, you'd think i'd be smarter than go and play hockey last night. a guy should be smarter than that. you'd think. i'm not that smart. obviously. yesterday kramer gave me a call and asked me if i wanted to paly hockey with him out at the forum in delta on a team called the pirates. they're a division two team which means they're much better than yours truly. or maybe not but damn good... so i said yes. everything was finbe up until the middle of the third period when so big dufus checked me in front of the net, where i earn my hockey living, and i fell awkwardly twisting my ankle in the proces...good times. i managed to get off the ice but not gracefully. i played the rest of the game but am paying for it today.. i'm battered but if i do say so myself held my own with the div. 2 boys. in fact, i think i played well. got an assist on the first goal and had some other good plays. the net result though is that i have a very sore ankle today and need to rest up for the weekend..i have to work sunday on set so it'll be a bit of a test if this puppy hurts like it does now.. whatever...it's ok. my doctor would be so proud.

sore legs, bad eyes and new crowns...

getting old sucks. that's the truth. and even if i wasn't old, which i suppose i'm not really that old but...i am suffering from the ravages of time and hard hitting sports. over time in have damaged myself.. rugby, hockey, street fights, kicking ass, whatever..they've all done their damage. i went to the doctor today, des-he's cool, because i've been having trouble with my right calf muscle...for over five months now..turns out i may have torn my muscle...i have to now go in for an ultrasound and see how bad it may be...good times. i also went to the dentist today to see about a tooth that's been giving me some trouble...heat and cold sorta thing. and yes, i get to get a new crown..more gold in the old head. plus i have to go back for a cleaning. my dentist, who i've known for over twenty years abck to when he had a flock of seagulls hairdo, she is a dapper fucker. always well dressed, fancy lad. clean shaven, good lookin', and neatly pressed. plus he's a bit of an art guy. art by major local artists are on the walls of his office..nice to know i helped pay for some art i could otherwise never afford. how some guys get it all..good looks, great career, slim, talented,cash, etc...i hate him...well, i don't but ya get the idea... anyhow he's gonna stick his fingers in my mouth next week again and figure out how to pulll more money outta there...and to round out the day i made an appointment with my eye doctor to get the eyeballs all checked out...it's now $95.00 to get the sockets all checked out..what a rip. oh well...


the picture today is of my pal steve, he's a stand-in on movie sets but has done some acting from time to time. his main thing is that he owns five apartments that are fully furnished and he rents them to production geeks while they're here working on films and such... and he helps rent out another 25 that others own and takes a cut of that...he's a smart guy.. we should all be as crafty as he is...
word id there's more work coming down the pipe so it could be busy the next while...skippy tornack is coming to work here next week thus ending his life of riley at the homestead.. half gay has decided to dedictae more time to his new home therefore in comes skippy tornack... it'll be good...we won't have to call each other about dinner at topanga anymore..

g. xo

stuff for sale...soon...

there's gonna be a garn's gargae sale soon. cd's, toys, clothes, dvd's, other stuff... i need the cash. stay tuned.
i'm fucked and now ya know.

g. xo

it just gets better and better....

last night we all took the trek out to tsawwassen to see issy and have some chinese food at a local place there..they have an all you can eat thing which suited us all fine...it's always great to see issy and she loves it when the kids come out and see her. we ate like champs and had a little jell-o at the end so...good times.
today after joel and i were finished doing some work downtown we called the boys and had them meet us at Kiren, some fancy pants chinese place on alberni street...all on the BOC credit card...mayoral candidate jim green was there as well...he actually was there before we got there and still there when we left...wonder who was picking up the tab? anyhow, during lunch i got a call from some woman from revenue canada..and at one point i told her to stop being so nasty to me...anyhow..it turns out i owe them $2600.00 for CCP or something. and not because i'm behind, they've just decided to start collecting it and they want it from 2002 until now...i guess selling my motorcycle isn't such a bad idea now...and some toys too... they were nice while i had them.
good times...enjoy the rain. it's not going away.

g. xo

update...of sorts.

ok, so this morning because i let the thing run out of water my espresso machine won't work. all you have to do is put in more water but because it then has an air gap it fails almost always to suck the new water through. i've now completely given up on it and am going to look at getting a system plumbed in. this is stupid. fuckin' stupid. everytime or even when you first get the machine, which i've had forever and i won't feel badly tossing it, you have trouble getting it to feed itself water. i'm ready to toss it off the balconey right fuckin' now! ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE A COFFEE...!!!! IS THAT TOO FUCKIN' MUCH TO ASK!!!
ok. well, then. i got an e.mail back for my lawyer regarding this car shit. it'll all be ok...especially when i sell this stupid car in the next year or so and get a honda or a toyota or something...something i don;t give a shit about...the more trouble i have with people over this car the more i want to take the bus and listen to the idiots on there... my motorcycle will be the next thing to go...the heartache has to stop.
and i have to go and have breakfast, i refuse to say bruch, with my pal jane..and be all cheery...and happy. i do like seeing her but i'd rather be on the couch watching football and having a coffee...OH, BUT I CAN'T HAVE A FUCKIN' COFFEE!!!!!
well then. that's that. some bum in my alley is going to be the proud owner of a starbucks barista machine...good times.
ok..i'm off to jj bean to buy some coffee... this is great!

have a great day.

g. xo

letting it all hang out...

i may have set in motion a string of events that i can not, now, stop. those of you who know the comet story will knw that the idiot who painted my car the first time has moved to nevada. he also owns a very nice car himself. i thought he had taken the car to nevada with him. he has not. i found his car today and left a note on it. i asked for some of my money back. i told him i found his car once and that i could find it again. i then gave a copy of the letter to the shop where he painted the car. anyhow..it's a long story..now the owner of the shop is pissed at me, was talking about getting his lawyer involved..etc..nice. i don;t have any idea who's on my team and who's not anymore. more and more bad desicions made by me, over and over....i need a fuckin' time machine. i was smart enough to include some legal words on the document that make it impossible to use in court so...whatever. fuckin' sue me prick!
on the subject of regret. i have so many. i really do. i feel wierd about this and this blog in general. i want so many times to say and tell you all things but can't based on how it'll make some of you feel. i've made so many mistakes, made bad turns, not treated you all as well as i should have, been less tolerant than i should have been, missed the boat more than a few times. i have been short with some of you, made my ideas more important than yours when they are not, gotten frustrated when i should have been more calm. i have been hard on myself in front of many of you and said things about myself in front of many of you which i know makes you feel uncomfortable and badly. i'm sorry about that.
so what's all this have to do with anything? i'm not sure but i should leave well enough alone sometimes. keep my mouth shut. don't say shit even if my mouth's full of it. it'll be hard but i'm gonna give it my best effort.
just know this.
when i'm down, pissed off at the world, mad at the prick in the car in fron of me, saying i'm gonna off myself, remember this...i love each and every one of you. and without all of you, i'd be lost.

ok..there ya go.

i'm gonna make some shitty noodles and sauce now.

garn xo

new shoes and a haircut....

well, no new shoes but a new haircut. i needed it too...and i'm going out issy's tomorrow for a little chinese food so i have to look my best. i have nothing earth shattering to report..another week done in the world of film...butterfly effect 2...i smell oscar! i really need to clean the house...so, that's my big saturday... i know one actually reads thiss but at least someday i'll be able to look back and see what i did from day to day...

have fun..

g xo

more alley art...

i find myself driving through alleys a lot...when i'm driving around town, for either work or after work, i find myself taking shortcuts through them, etc..and often i see spray paintings everywhere... i'm not into the 'tags' or 'b-boy' crap...i like the stencils and the illustrations... the quickly drawn pieces that are soon to be covered over...they're going to be gone soon enough and i've decided to document them as best i can... more for me than anything. here are todays entries...

g. xo

hello arizona? good-bye tiffany...

so the topanga has lost one it's finner employees. tiffany has decided to get the hell outta dodge. i say good luck to her. she was always one of my favorite people there, although, they all are really great there. i know that many who work there are sad about her leaving but peoples gots to do what peoples got ta do... anyhow. we'll miss ya. good luck.
last night at the topanga, where i was for the second straight night-the night before with the garberator tonight with skippy tornack, a woman who was having dinner with her family saw us come in and turned and said to me that she knew me. i said that she looked familiar as well and that we should figure it out...her husband was having dinner and listening to an ipod so he didn't care and her kids, two girls and a son, were mildly interested that her mom was going over to another table to sit with two guys she didn't know. she was sure i was someone, but not sure who. as it turns out she thought i was someone famous-i'm not. i thought she thought i was someone she actually knew...nope. she thought i was a star or some sort. nope. regular dorky guy i told her. her husband, taking time out from his ipod burrito shuffle, said i looked like a guy on tv...but i didn't understand him really. her daughters thought this was all kinda funny and one of them asked if she could have my ipod. nope. fuck off. actually, they were all very nice. they left. thank god. it was odd though, one of the daughters, who was probably around 16, had a tattoo that took up a large part of her belly button region and another on her lower back...kinda racey for a 16 year old...maybe that's what she was up to while dad was on the ipod eating burritos...
good times.
i'm at work right now and no one else has shown up yet... it's an hour into the day and no one is here...maybe they should have told old garn they were starting late today...guess not...

ok..

i love you all..

g. xo

hello arizona.

Good bye Vancouver
Good bye to all I know
To hands I used to hold

Good bye Vancouver
Good bye to all things
That used have a hold on me

Good bye Vancouver
Hello to something yet to be sold
Or the story I haven't been told

Hello Arizona
Railroads and rivers

Hello Arizona
Whose hand I'’ve yet to hold

Hello Arizona

Hello Arizona
To you

Sitting in the seat across
The one that still binds
The rain falls and finds

Good bye Vancouver
Say what you will
Maybe the police on the east side
Are sitting down waiting on you

Hello Massachusetts
May be the one I love
Highway 95
Pretend it'’s the I-5

Heading south
Saying
Good bye vancover
No more hands to hold.

So,
Hello Arizona.

'songs for francis white'
tim francis

larry comes home.

not that larry. not the drunk guy on granville island who makes everyone's life a living hell. not that larry. larry. my car. i picked him up last night after seven months away getting all dolled-up. he looks great but still needs a little more love that i can do at home. pictures soon...welcome home larry.

g. xo

monday fuckin' rules....

it does.
so yesterday it was more dump action with more insulation from half-gay's house. then the garberator and i took the coolerator for a little wash and shine. he needed it...so does the garberator but that's another story...then we went to sophie's of all places, and a sunday yet, to get some grub... i felt like a bit of a perve because the woman behind the counter who does all the milkshakes and coffees etc..well, she had to bend over right in front of me to make drinks and such..and we were at the counter so her ass was about a foot and a half away from me...a lot... hard to eat with that going on...you don't want to stare..but then you look like a dork looking completely away ... life's so hard...anyhow..it was fine.then we went to zulu and brady gave us a little dump job in trade for some cd's ...good deal. so off to the dump we went again...it's stinky there. the one in north van doesn't stink...south van...super stinky. then we took marcy's car to the car wash where the garbs neighbour works...he did a great job...the garbs has pull there.
dinner was at the famous all india sweets with the fawnz and marcy... i like that place but hardly ever get the buffet now that i've had the butter chicken there...it's amazing.. then the rain came...and some guy got hit by a car out front of the restaurant...i tried to take a picture but it was blurry...so just imagine a guy on a gurnie... on main street...as i ate butter chicken... good times...
now it's monday and i need to get to work...have fun..i love you.

g. xo