stock boy

since sunday morning i have been in a funk of sorts that i can't really describe nor shake. i know may is a month i generally, and not on purpose, take stock and it, usually, doesn't amount to much in my books. my life as a secretary - i know this is how i am viewed by many i work with or at the very least not really an fx guy. my expanding size - something i hate but i guess not enough to actually get down and do something about - too fucking lazy. my hockey game tonight confirmed, to me at least, that i am more of a detriment than an asset to the bombers...god bless 'em for keeping me around...nice guys (although i am contemplating retirement from hockey...) but hey, i'm a great grass cutter...so wicked. and i know how to buy stuff, fill out a purchase order and then go get it. but hey, they keep paying me to do it so i'll keep doing it the best i can. good little organizer that i am.
i'm not sure what to do...i'm sure i'll snap out of it and forget, at least for a while, how much i disappoint myself, and just get on with the business of making my way to the end without tipping over the apple cart too much.
i'm tired.
i'm tired of the construction in vancouver. i'm tired of the olympics and they haven't even started. i'm tired of alergies. i'm tired of the vanoc pricks on their cell phones and their self-imposed importance. i'm tired of being tired because of my shitty sleep patterns. i'm tired of ill-fitting clothes. i'm tired of self-centred assholes. i'm tired of the me first people. i'm tired of ESL students - from wherever it is they keep coming from.
oh man...i need to get to sleep...and i know...it'll all look so much better in the morning...and i'm just rambling after a shitty game and an impending change of numbers. good times. where is the world where the unskilled and marginally handsome rule?
night night.

g. xo