modern auto

i have been going through my external hard drive trying to make some sense of it....old this and that getting tossed away or put into the right place for future, etc. i have come across a few things i wrote years ago that i still like. i am going to post a few here for you to read. love 'em or hate 'em. here's the first of a few.

Modern Auto

today i put on my best shirt before heading to the bus stop to get the four which will take me downtown and to work. today i put on a clean set of pants, not that i wouldn't anyway but today i made sure. made sure they were extra clean, straight from the dry cleaner's, a clean press down the center of each pant leg, the cuffs solid and distinct. shaving, i held my head back making sure i got every stray hair above where my collar would sit, made the lines on my short sideburns just right and that they were even side to side by putting my hands up to either side of my head and measuring by sight with one eye closed. today i used just enough gel to hold my hair in place without getting the wet look i hate so much. today i was ready to meet her. i was ready to meet her and say hello and make my first impression stick like never before. as i stand here now waiting for the bus to come i know that i will make her love me, well, maybe like me at first, then who knows. my hands feel like steel as i grip my briefcase waiting for the four which will take me downtown to the office. they feel heavy and solid as if i don't even own them anymore. bringing up my left hand to my face i see the lines that make this hand my own, the veins running through it, the blue lines that feed back to my heart, the skin that has been scarred so many times. cuts requiring stitches, from fights, sports, self-inflicted wounds from pounding the walls late at night as it rained outside. hands bruised from hitting the pavement late at night, falling out of bars at closing time. mine are the hands of a man. the hands of someone ready to go. the hands of someone loving, secure, strong and careful. these hands are the hands of a man ready to give out his love. today i'll meet her and she'll see these hands. and she'll know from them more than my face could ever say. i've stood next to her before and have wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. just to tell her. nothing more. there have been many i've wanted to tell, just to tell them. how they've made my day by just being there. the smell of them. tell them and then just walk away, expecting nothing. today i'll make her love me. today i put on my best shirt. today i know she'll notice me. today's the day she falls in love with me.
gth...