ok..so he was never my best friend, but that line from red house painters 'make like paper' sounded like a good title for this blog entry...why? i have no fuckin' idea. but today, after returning from costco - otherwise known as hell..., i ran into michael turner - local celebrity/writer/artist/man about town. i was in larry and he was crossing the street by the blarney stone. "no way..." were his first words and then, "i think about you all the time...", "no you don't" i replied...it's true i believe anyways...he has far better things to do than to think about me... he still looks great..youthful, slightly el diablo, high arched eyebrows, slicked back hair, ready to become even more famous...he was built for it. i like him. many years ago, when i was far batter looking and maybe had a future, he worked upstairs from the block clothing store. also upstairs was keith porteous, alan moy, gangland artists, etc...don bull had a studio down the block above deluxe junk, lisa svwn was across the street running mondo lisa and it was a great time for the hood...cordova street. wendy was at dream, all the block 'girls', i was the maker for the cookies there...something about that time was great..then the coffee bar at the block closed down, don bull split, alan moved to toronto, alan moved to ladner, wendy had a kid and her man fucked her over, lisa closed mondo lisa and tried to make a go of it close by but didn't, ken at deluxe is still there but barely hanging on - literally, and i stopped making cookies...anyhow. michael turner and i were pals, if not ones who really hung out. we shot the shit, discussed 'stuff', we drank coffee and i served him beer at the railway club. i also was slightly involved, at least for the first night when i told the story...actually, forget it..i told a story at the malcolm lowery room that he used to help run...'nuff said - i bombed. it was nice to see him today...he seems happy and why shouldn't he be i suppose.
the last couple of days have been kinda wierd...i've seen a collection of people i never see anymore...yersterday mishi and i were on south granville looking at shitola and i ran into a woman i used to see all the time at cbc when i worked there, dale drury - i'm not sure of the spelling of her last name...but she was a reporter then, and i had a slight crush on her as did many others i bet...i like her...she's still involved with the media producing a show called 'take it outside' but also i publishing a book on hi-def programming...go girl...and then literally a few minutes later i ran into eddie, a guy i also used to work with at cbc, he worked on jergen gothe's show...good guy...then in front of caban i saw michael richrads...not the seinfeld dude but another guy i worked with at cbc...we didn't speak....
i have a theory i've been working on regarding myself and my relationships with people...there are those who have stuck around and put up with me and gotten to a point where it all makes sense somehow...we understand each other, how i say things, how we relate to each other, how the things i say or the things i do don't always add up to what they may seem to add up to. i have no hidden agenda with my good nature but i think sometimes people get the wrong impression. i like to help, give of myself and usually want nothing in return. it's the truth. i meet new people and make friendships with them and then, sometimes, my generosity is misunderstood and/or taken the wrong way and people back off from me. and i guess that's fine. i can only do what i can do and know my true intentions. i'm helpful - maybe to a fault, and a little bit handy... certain friends return e.mails and phone calls, and others don't. and i'm getting better with that. i am a loner by nature, but do enjoy the company of those i have grown close to. i like to drive my car, alone most times, through the desert, along the interstates and to little towns no one i know will ever go to or want to go to. i need to see these places and then tell others about them.
i'm not sure how this all got here but...i just wanted to tell you i saw michael turner today...and now it's all of this. i wish, sometimes, that i didn't care as much as i do about the things that go on around me. i wish i could do a mediocre job at work and be happy with that, i wish i could not feel the need to help all the time, but i can't, i wish i could feel less emotions about shit that has come and gone and no longer has any bearing on my life...although, that one i have to say has become much easier on me...the tings i have no control over now bother me far less than they did days, months or years ago.
tonight i'm having a little bbq at the house with a few pals...it'll be nice...michael turner will not be there but i'm sure he'll be having a nice dinner elsewhere...with someone equally famous.
g. xo
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